June 2010
5 posts
Out of Gas 6
The ape stares at the unicorn with an angry look. The piercing stench of anchovies begins to annoy the ape.
“That’s odd it worked this morning,” says the unicorn.
“Listen man,” says the ape. I think you better take your stinky fish wings and fly the fuck on outta here.”
Out of Gas 5
The unicorn spits the credit card out of his mouth, kept lodged between his teeth like a prison razorblade. The ape hands the unicorn a pack of Marlboro Lights. The ape swipes the credit card through the machine. The digital read-out reads “PROCESSING,” then shortly thereafter, “DENIED.”
“Sorry, no good.”
Out of Gas 4
“Now we’re getting somewhere,” he smiles to himself, as he types away feverishly.
The ape behind the counter gives the unicorn a disdainful look.
“I don’t see any pockets on you,” he shrieks at the unicorn. “You got any cash on you?”
“No,” says the unicorn. “But I have credit card.”
Out of Gas 3
“Okay,” he said to himself. “I have no life experiences to draw from. I guess I’ll just have to make everything up.” He began to type:
A winged unicorn with anchovies for feathers walks into a convenience store and asks the ape behind the counter for a pack of cigarettes.
Out of Gas 2
“Write what you know,” he thought to himself. He ran his hands through his hair with frustration and pounded his fist on the table. “Think, think! Write what you know,” he kept telling himself. At that moment it had dawned on him. He hadn’t lead much of an interesting life.